THERE!

The output of the camera to the input of the television, then that great lens pupil gazing on the TV set! I’m twelve years old, I’m twenty years old writing about me, and suddenly, a miracle! I zoom closer, into a ballet of memory and forgetfulness, color, rhythm, pixels. Islands of light, bright blue leaves growing from Julia’s tree, her spirit forever spinning, seduced into motion by the Great Attractor. Dancing particles assembling some archaic architecture, some ancient language, some distant world of pure information revealed... Building, dissolving, speaking in the poetic tongue of a lunaticked mushroom cult, a prehistoric gig-giggling, some alien plant echoing on the roof of the Shaman’s mouth. I am entranced by its curiosity... I’m pulled into a conscious place, lulled into the cryptic eyes of some all-knowing child.

Mesmerized for hours... Record, play-back, play-back the recording of playback of... Move through those never-ending tunnels, all the way back... All the way back to the back of the back of the... Take this time to take time to pray to the body of this quantum deity! Exalt that SELF which knows the boundless orchard from which we try on lifetimes like outfits! Exalt that timeless echo that reaches us in waves of inspiration from beyond the grave, from after apocalypse, from before the dawn of history! Exalt this skin that time will tear and rip and re-compile so we may suffer, so we may explore the intricacies of night and day! EXALT these things and know that you are worthy if for just one moment, you are opened to the love and mystery of life! EXALT these fractal selves and marvel at their symmetry!

I am fed. Myself. I am seduced by complexity, my eyes, your eyes, pulled into an ecstatic wilderness, carages, goats and elephants with cities on their backs crumbling, breaking, building, deconstructing, building, constructing deconstruction... Myself... and when awakened... I will see my mind again, beyond its guarded borders, beyond spiders, machetes, leering demons of terrifying beauty! BYPASS! Into the collective iterations, the thinking thoughts that see vision and taste the touch of that trembling presence. THE SELF! Arms, legs, all dangling from this galaxy of sense! All protruding from this universe of AWE, of YES, or HOLY SCHIZOPHRENIC SYMPTONS! THANK JESUS, BUDDHA, ALLAH! Whoever stands and proclaims that the time of timeless is upon us! Drink from that madness and reclaim your birthright!

Then forget... So you may return humbly to that ground we share in separation, and rejoice in that endless simplicity.